Schaffer to blast Udall for not exploiting the state's resources

Republican Bob Schaffer's U.S. Senate campaign seems to be gearing up to attack Democratic frontrunner Mark Udall for not overexploiting the state's natural resources for private gain.

Sources tell TCR that Schaffer's political operatives have been shopping around for a Colorado production company to shoot an anti-Mark Udall spot blaming Democrats and environmentalists for not exploiting the heck out of the state's natural resources.

Apparently the spot will feature a firefighter complaining that there aren't enough roads in the forests, making fighting forest fires more difficult. Another element of the spot is said to include a student who can't get an adequate college education in the state because Colorado isn't drilling enough oil and gas wells.

Shaffer's campaign operatives are looking for shooting locations on the Roan Plateau where energy companies are trying to drastically expand natural gas drilling, and in the region southwest of Denver where some of our larger forest fires have occurred in recent years.

All the concepts in the spot - if it's ever made - are quite a reach. But this political intelligence at least gives TCR staffers some insight into what Big Oil Bob might do as a U.S. Senator.

It appears Schaffer' is calling for unbridled energy development throughout the state, regardless of the impact on the water, air, recreation, agriculture, tourism and wildlife resources of Colorado.

He also seems to be strongly advocating cross-crossing state's national forests with expensive and environmentally damaging roads for firefighting, and what else? Logging? Motorcycles? All-Terrain Vehicles? Ah, GOP scout camps, maybe.

With friends like Bob, who needs enemies?

Douglas Bruce Knows No Shame

El Paso County GOP State Rep. Douglas Bruce's May 1 comment on the House floor regarding what the May First - May Day - commemoration stands for was so erroneous it truly showed either an absolute disdain for the truth or his simple ignorance of history.

While his fellow lawmakers were horsing around with House Minority Leader Mike May -- Mike May, May 1st, get it? -- Bruce found it necessary to interject his totally irrelevant and incorrect comments saying that May First only stands for communism.

May Day celebrations have little to do with the Communist Party. They date far back into Pre-Christian Europe as an approximate time (remember, no Gregorian calendar as yet) to signify the start of summer. With the Christianization of Europe came the banning of such pagan rites, although European culture embraced May 1 as a time to signify the fertility of the Earth - the May Pole dance, for example, celebrating the Queen of the May. Also, do not forget May 1, 1707, when the Kingdom of Great Britain was officially formed by joining England with Scotland. That was 111 years before Karl Marx was born.

Bruce seems to be confusing May 1 celebrations for good crops and the international labor movement with the Russian Revolution.

In truth, the association of May 1 and international labor occurred in the wake of the 1886 Haymarket worker riots in Chicago, which led to widespread international support for workers' rights.

What may be further confusing the El Paso County Republican is the heavy-handed hijacking of the May 1 holiday by the Soviet Union to celebrate its phony commitment to international labor, a move that promoted the United States to designate May 1 as Loyalty Day during the height of the Cold War, which is over, in case Mr. Bruce has forgotten some of his more recent history.

I'm sure the United State's traditional fall Labor Day holiday confuses the GOP lawmaker even more. Our early September holiday dates back into the 19th century, still well in advance of the formation of the Soviet Union. The rest of the world honors the social and economic achievements of the labor movement on May 1.

To denigrate May 1, as Bruce did on the floor of the Colorado House of Representatives, by claiming -- erroneously -- that it just stands for communism, is to denigrate the advances the international labor movement has made on behalf of workers - such things as ending child labor, increasing work place safety, improving wages and and other work conditions - things that make toiling on assembly lines, in factories, on new homes and even emptying the trash in apartment buildings just a little more bearable for those who have to perform the tasks.

His flawed comments also denigrate the memories of workers who have perished in mines, on job sites, on railroads and in sweatshop fires.

Bruce simply knows no shame and seems incapable of restraining his impulses to denigrate fellow human beings, not to mention the voters of his El Paso County district, with self-serving remarks that only generate useless heat and shed absolutely no light on anything.

Nicholson Spot: Fiction as Political "Reality"

As of this writing, Merriam-Webster's online dictionary still defines fiction as "an invented story." However, more and more political candidates, pundits, teachers, writers, actors and even our friends seem to be using fiction to define reality, advance a political agenda or make some weighty point of argument.

It's one thing to quote from a work of non-fiction, an essay, a scholarly work, a government decision, actual legislation, or a speech to advance your political argument, and quite another to use something spun from the imagination of a fiction writer to make any meaningful point in real life. Yet it seems as though today's culture is so mesmerized by movies and the celebrity cult that almost anything emanating from these industries of fiction is taken as reality.

Case in point: a new campaign commercial for Hillary Clinton stringing together a series of memorable movie clips featuring Jack Nicholson, eyebrows and all (www.youtube.com). All the movies from which the clips were lifted for the political spot were works of fiction. Fake. It's doubtful that Nicholson actually pulled the clips from his films for the political ad. More likely, this task was left to some Clinton political operative.

The commercial infers a series of Clinton positives from the Nicholson clips using words uttered by the ACTOR under the direction of Tim Burton, Rob Reiner, Bob Rafelson, Roman Polanski and Stanley Kubrick, all Hollywood directors who, at the time, were crafting works of fiction, not works of political polemic. The words Nicholson uttered were written not by him, not by the Clinton campaign, but by writers of fiction: Sam Hamm and Warren Skaaren (Batman), Aaron Sorkin (A Few Good Men), Carole Eastman and Bob Rafelson (Five Easy Pieces), Robert Towne (Chinatown), and Stephen King, Stanley Kubrick and Diane Johnson (The Shining).

All the words uttered by Nicholson in the commercial, with one exception, were originally written for completely fictional contexts, wholly unrelated to the Clinton political campaign. The words from the films had absolutely nothing to do with the Clinton campaign, nor with the words displayed on the screen during the political ad between each movie clip. The exception: when Nicholson tells the viewer "I'm Jack Nicholson and I approved this message."

But did the fiction writers who actually crafted nearly all the words spoken in the political ad approve the message? Kubrick, for one, couldn't have. He died in 1999.

TCR Hiatus; New Editorial Reach; Tiger Tom Update

It's been a while since there have been postings to The Colorado Report.

There is no particular reason for this hiatus.

It just happened.

"Hi. Ho."
-Kurt Vonnegut

KEY UPDATES

1. New Editorial Rules at TCR

While newspapers are dying and circulation shrinking, TCR is filling the void by extending its editorial reach.TCR staffers, during a recent retreat at a trendy Colorado resort, voted unanimously to expand the definition of "the Centennial state and the Rocky Mountain Region" to include Chicago, Key West, pockets of Southern Illinois, the Wisconsin Dells, and any other areas deemed somewhat relevant by the TCR editorial board at any time. Take the recent posting on the origins of Mitt Romney's name. Well, there are two connections: Chicago (under the new rules) and the fact that presidential candidates will be voted on in preferential polls during the Feb. 5 Colorado caucuses. Mitt's name is bound to come up.

2. Tiger Tom Tancredo Throws in the Towel

Many TCR readers have been emailing our editorial offices wondering whatever became of Tiger Tom Tancredo, former teacher, former bureaucrat, former member of the Colorado House "Crazies," former part-time representative for Colorado's hip 6th Congressional District, and presidential candidate. Well, The Tiger, who consistently rolled up stunning GOP voter support ranging from "-" to 2%, finally spared Colorado further embarrassment by dropping his bid for the White House. In announcing the departure from his usual far stage left position during the GOP candidate debates, The Tiger said he had achieved his goal of elevating the public outcry over illegal immigration to a fever pitch in the 2008 presidential horse race, so he decided to quit. Tiger Tom also gave his constituents a real break by announcing he wouldn't seek another term in the U.S. House of Representatives. Republicans are tripping all over themselves to represent the 6th District, which is a GOP stronghold.

How did the GOP presidential candidate get that name -- Mitt?

Willard Mitt Romney, son of former Michigan Governor and 1968 presidential candidate George W. Romney and 1970 Michigan U.S. Senatorial candidate Lenore Romney, was named after his father's best friend, J. Willard Marriott and his father's cousin, Milton (Mitt) Romney, who played quarterback for the Chicago Bears from 1925 to 1929. Mitt is the GOP candidate's real middle name (not Milton).

Interestingly enough, during those same years, Da Bears were coached by football legend George Halas, who also played end at the same time. Halas retired from playing after the 1929 season, but he coached forever thereafter. He was the owner and coach of Da Bears as TCR Sr. Editor Richard J Schneider was growing up.

Also, to see how much pro football has changed, here is the roster of NFL teams during the 1925 season:

Chicago Cardinals
Pottsville Maroons
Detroit Panthers
New York Giants
Akron Pros
Frankford Yellow Jackets
Chicago Bears
Rock Island Independents
Green Bay Packers
Providence Steam Roller
Canton Bulldogs
Cleveland Bulldogs
Kansas City Cowboys
Hammond Pros
Buffalo Bisons
Duluth Kelleys
Rochester Jeffersons
Milwaukee Badgers
Dayton Triangles
Columbus Tigers

Tiger Tom Creeps Into Double Digits

Tiger Tom Tancredo – our man in the GOP presidential race, occasional 6th Congressional District Representative, and lifelong feeder at the mostly public/occasionally private handout trough –moved into the double digits the other day, finishing 4th in the Iowa Straw Poll, which is kind of a combo a fundraiser-political poll for the state’s Republican Party. Tiger Tom has one issue: he hates illegal immigrants. No, two issues: he also plans to bomb Mecca. Well, maybe three: he wants to set up a Marshall Plan to help out third world nations like Miami. Whatever his platform is, it apparently was enough to trick Iowa Republicans into placing him 4th in the race for the GOP presidential nomination, ahead of such luminaries as Fred Thompson, Rudy Giuliani and John McCain, none of whom participated in the straw poll.

The Tiger usually registers somewhere between “-“ and 2 per cent in GOP political polls, so his camping out at the KOA campground outside of Des Moines for the past month must have really paid off. Unfortunately, this 4th place “win” will only encourage the man. His political adviser, right-winger Bay Buchanan, says The Tiger won the hearts and souls of Iowans, even though science is split right down the middle as to whether Republicans actually have hearts.

Tiger Tom was edged out for second and third place by former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee and Kansas Sen. Sam Brownback. Mitt Romney, the moderate turned conservative former governor of Massachusetts, beat the snot out of all of them. To their credit, the Terrific Trio of Huckabee-Brownback-Tancredo, are at least consistent with their viewpoints and values, misguided as they may be. What was more interesting, though, was that the straw poll’s 31.5 per cent for Romney indicates that 68.5 per cent of Republicans don’t want anything to do with him.

Since Tiger Tom wants to round up all the illegal workers and send them home, those voters who eat food might be interested to know that nearly three-quarters of the nation’s farm labor comes from the ranks of illegal immigrants migrating from field to field. TCR doubts whether the sophomores at Cherry Creek High School will be tripping over each other to weed Colorado onion fields if Tiger Tom has his way with us. In the meantime, Tiger Tom and his new buddy, Bay, are off for some fundraising, which is surprising, since The Tiger had amassed a one million dollar war chest to finance his run for the White House. Yes, one million dollars. Where did all that money go?

After Knocking Off Evolution, Tiger Tom Tackles Global Warming

Two weeks after he raised his hand with a few other Republican presidential candidates to openly declare he doesn’t believe in Darwin’s theory of natural selection, Tiger Tom Tancredo announced to the world that he doesn’t think human activity has much of an impact on climate change. Both declarations came in “debates” among the herd of GOP presidential contenders.

The Tiger was hurled a question about global warming from one of three moderators at the Tuesday May 12 debate sponsored by Faux Noise (Fox News, for you Uncle Rush listeners). Tancredo, who once taught children in the public schools, claimed that for every scientific study indicating human activity is adversely impacting climate change, he can find a study that concludes just the opposite.

He might want to inform the National Academy of Sciences of this “fact,” and save taxpayers, universities, corporations, governments, foundations, and a truckload of voters a lot of time and money that could otherwise be spent in more productive areas, like dropping the wolf from the threatened and endangered species list, instead of wasting it in a useless attempt to cut down on the injection of carbon dioxide into the Earth’s atmosphere.

The Academy apparently is out to lunch on this one, having only this spring reported to us that a “growing body of evidence indicates that the Earth’s atmosphere is warming.” How much? About a degree and a half in the last century, and nearly one degree of that since 1978. While the Academy agrees with global warming critics like Tiger Tom that the climate is always changing, the body of obviously ill informed scientists concludes:

“In the judgment of most climate scientists, Earth’s warming in recent decades has been caused primarily by human activities that have increased the amount of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere.

“Greenhouse gases have increased significantly since the Industrial Revolution, mostly from the burning of fossil fuels for energy, industrial processes, and transportation. Greenhouse gases are at their highest levels in at least 400,000 years and continue to rise.”

How these scientists came up with such a preposterous notion is beyond us.

When he is not rewriting the laws of nature, Tiger Tom spends his days ostensibly representing all the citizens of Colorado’s Sixth Congressional District. Mythology has it that he even visits his seat in the U.S. House of Representatives from time to time.

Tiger Tom Missing Many Chances to Vote “No.”

Tiger Tom Tancredo, the titular Rep. for Colorado’s 6th Congressional District, leads the Colorado delegation race for the highest percentage of missed votes. But then he’s the only one in the delegation running for President, which makes some district Republicans just giddy. GOP Douglas County Commissioner Steven Boand told the Denver Post there was “some degree of excitement” over a “local” in the presidential horserace. And with Tiger Tom’s spike in the polls, from “-“% to 2% among GOP candidates, 6th District Republicans must be dancing in the street.

Of course, he’s not voting much these days for the people he ostensibly represents. He missed several big votes recently, including Iraq war funding, as he prepped for his last-place performance in the Republican Presidential Candidate “Debate.” While he leads the state’s delegation in missed votes – 13 per cent – he trails GOP presidential front-runner Sen. John McCain who has missed 4 in 10 votes during his quest for the Holy Grail. Tiger Tom pointed out that he would have cast his votes on the losing side of the balloting anyway.

So who came in dead last in the Presidential Candidate Missed Vote Race? Sen. Hillary Clinton, the Democratic front-runner. She has missed 2 per cent of her votes. But Tiger Tom, complaining about having to rush to airports only to wait around for flights, said Hillary can afford charter flights, which make getting back to Washington for votes a little easier. TCR wonders just how well Tiger Tom is managing the travel budget in his $1 million presidential campaign war chest. Yes, one million dollars.